Ramadhan Confessions I

I wrote about Ramadhan earlier on my personal webblog (click this title to get there!), but like to share some stuff here as well! God has his cute ways of teaching us wise lessons! Yesterday I received one in judgements, as it seemed yesterday to be a day of judging situations and people!

It started with me visiting some communities on Orkut for the first time since long ago. I was suddenly witness of an live discussion between some Sunni's and some called Qadiyani aka Ahmedis..... a not so friendly discussion which made me for the first time since long joining with the statement that we shouldnt judge as non of us is a scholar and even the scholars we consult for advice, how can we be sure they are good judges? Nay my opion I stated there was that we should behold judgement to God only and refrain of calling others good-believers, bad-believers or even non-believers!

I went away and never thought about this anymore untill this morning when I went to check the post again, no replies, both groups prefer to continue their mud-throwing! But when I came home from iftari I chatted with my mom for a while. And she told me that my dad was disappointed and afraid about the whole "Islam-stuff" and Ramadhan, coz he wasn't able to drink coffee with his son, and he was disappointed and afraid that I would never come home with a "dutch girl". I was rather amazed because until then I always thought that my dad was more relaxed on my reversion and actually didn't care or mind about it! During discussion about drinking booze my mom and sister almost demanded that i should drink, my dad told them to stop their effort.

I asked my mom what she thought about it. She told me she thought it was a kind of "trial" for me, as she knows I studied many religions and then she told me how many churches she had visited and that I had never done that. So in her opinion I just did not know anything about Christianity. I replied to her that I had read the bible (well most of it), that I had religioun as a subject on a Catholic school, and that I had studied other sources on christianity! And then I asked her: can Jesus be both the son of God AND the holy spirit (God) at the same time? She said no, so I answered, that's my opinion as well and therefore I cannot be a Christian! Then we chatted on about other stuff and she became more clear about my deen or emaan and dedication. She said at a sudden point that I didn't had to worry because I would always remain her son, Erik, no matter what.....

This conversation changed my former opinions about her, I thought she rejected it at all. I asked her to certain encounters which I regarded as rejections. Lik the time she walked in my room while I performed Salat/Namaz. She explained that she was at first amazed because she didn't realised at first sight what I did! Later she did and yesteday she even asked me about what it meant to me and so on.....

We can't expect sudden changes, we can't expect people to change overnight. That I did realise, but I also realised that I am not free of prejudice and judgements.... and that I think is one of the most valuable things I learned last night and realised today!